The Not So Innocent
by Keydazy
Summary: Ryan and Seth get into trouble at school. The Parents are called. Some fluff, some laughs, some entertainment


Happy Holidays Everyone! I am on winter vacation and I thought it couldn't be a better time to write fanfic. Unfortunately (or fortunately, however you want to look at it), I was in too much of a good mood to write the next chapter of Father? Figures so you get this instead.

Note to viewers: Same time frame but a completely different universe than F?F = Family fluff, not angry Sandy

This story came to me in a dream. Stick with me, it's a pretty long one- shot, but all will be revealed

Enjoy.

The Not So Innocent

The water fountain hummed

The teaching assistant's heels click- clacked on the tile floor as she hurried to make copies for some forgotten assignment.

Nervous feet made small, invisible circles on the rug underneath the bench, dragging their fairly new sneakers along for the ride.

The blond boy who wore them looked up, shaking his head slightly to see through his shaggy bangs and snuck a glance at the second child on a similar bench a few feet down the hall.

The other boy didn't catch his eye; too busy running his fingers through his unruly brown mop. Coming across foreign object, he plucked it skillfully out of his hair, examined it for a couple of seconds before tossing it unceremoniously over his shoulder.

The blond boy attempted to choke down his laughter, but it left a humorous whimper in its wake. That got the brunette's attention. Eyes locked, and cheeks were puffed out in the effort to contain laughter, or at least, keep it quiet.

Seth giggled

Ryan Snorted

Seth clapped a hand over his mouth

Ryan fell into a silent fit and

Seth howled

Ryan gripped at his sides

Seth fell out his chair

And then the door between them opened

"I think that is about enough!"

Two pairs of guilty looking eyes stared up at the angry secretary. Seth got into his chair as quickly as possible as Ryan took deep breaths in an attempt to compose himself

"What are you two doing?"

"Nothing Ma'am" came the response. In Stereo

The secretary growled in annoyance which won another burst of laughter from Ryan. Seth stuck his fist in his mouth.

"I suggest that the two of you come up with a good reason for your recent behavior before your parents arrive"

That statement sobered the two boys up enough to satisfy the stern lady and she returned to her work closing the door behind her with a devastating click.

Ryan leaned his head towards the door, listening for sounds of movement before addressing his brother in a whisper

"Seth"

"Mrs. Braintree growls like a bear" Seth snickered

Ryan tried to frown, but didn't quite make it

"Seth, will you-"

"Gerrr."

Seth imitation of Mrs. Braintree's impersonation of a bear did nothing to strengthen his resolve

"Seth._._ _Chuckle, Cough. _Stop"

Seth put his arms down and looked at his brother with an attempted straight face

"What are we going to say to your parents?"

"Exactly what we should say. That we were completely innocent in all of this"

"Seth"

"No, I'm serious. We didn't do anything wrong. It was a complete and total accident"

Ryan scrubbed at the spot on his jeans with his fingernail.

"Well, not all of it"

"The first part was self – defense."

Ryan smirked "Yeah. Good job, by the way"

"Me? I could barely get out of the way. You're the one that clobbered him"

Ryan stomach churned "Uh huh. And that's exactly how everybody else is going to see it."

"Come on, Bro. Chip and his cronies we're being total assholes. We were in the right. Everybody could see that. And I mean _everybody_"

Sensing the true reason behind Ryan's discomfort Seth added "the 'rents won't be that mad"

Ryan glanced sideways at him "You're sure?"

"Are you kidding me? My Dad's been waiting all his life for me to do something this cool. Hell, _he_ wishes he could do something this cool"

"And your mom"

"Mom… Mom will most likely freak"

Ryan groaned putting his head in his hands

"But you knew The Kirsten would freak anyways, so there's no surprise there"

"That's True" He smiled "It was pretty funny"

"Pretty funny? Dude, that just made my year"

"It's only November, Seth"

"You're right. We should do this again!"

The broke into another fit of laughter and barely had time to compose themselves before a friend arrived

"Guys. That was amazing!"

"Hey, Zach"

"The whole school is talking about it!"

"Yeah?" Ryan scratched his head "What are they saying?"

Zack wiped his hands on his jeans before replying

"Well, all the teachers and staff are pissed-"

"No surprise there"

"But the kids think it's hilarious. They're actually saying good things about you, Cohen. Did you know somebody posted it on youtube?"

Seth shook his head in disbelief

"What about the Water Polo team? They're not coming up with revenge plots, are they?"

"Naw. They're too busy laughing at Chip. Everybody knows that guy deserves any karma he gets"

"See, Ryan" Seth looked towards his brother who snorted his amusement

"We're really like superheroes now. Kid Chino and the Ironist save the day from-"

"-Mr. Stevens, don't you have somewhere to be?"

The Bear was back.

"Uh, Yes, Ma'am. I'm on my way there"

After sending Zack scurrying and towards his respective classroom, The Bear returned to her cave.

Ryan shuffled uncomfortably in his seat

"What?"

"I have test today"

"So?"

"It's 5th period"

"Once again, So what?"

"I'm missing it!"

"You only want to be there because Lindsey's your _study buddy_"

"Shut up. I need to get a good grade on this test if I want an A in the class"

"You know, maybe this whole ordeal will be good for you. Finally, let your Chino side out to play again"

"Seth, I don't want to let my 'Chino side' out. I'm done with that stuff, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. So you've been telling me. I just don't get this whole 'straight A, goody two shoes, protractoring instead of a punching thing' you've been pulling lately"

"Well I don't get the whole 'wife beater that doesn't fit, fifth of jack you can barely swallow, stole a car but not really 'cause its your grandfather's thing' _you've_ been pulling lately. And protractoring is not a word"

"It could be. And I was just trying to have a little fun for once. You know, like you used to be?'

"If you call getting beaten up and arrested fun, then yeah Seth, I had tons of it. All you're doing is pissing off your parents. Is it wrong to want to make them proud of me?"

"Why do you care so much about impressing the parents all of the sudden?"

"I don't know, maybe because they, feed me, gave me a roof over my head; let me back in the house after I royally screwed up over the summer?"

"Dude they're not doing you a favor, they're parents"

"They're **your** parents"

"Dude, are you still on that? That's so last year, man"

"Are we really going to fight about this now?" Ryan jerked his head towards the door

"Cause we got more important things to worry about"

"Right. We need to be on our A – Game. Solidarity. United we stand, divided people get shot"

Ryan scoffed "That's like the Worst. Slogan. Ever."

Seth regarded his brother thoughtfully "Do you think we might be switching personalities?"

"Cohen! Chino!"

Summer came running towards them coming to a screeching halt right in front of office door.

"I heard you guys faced down Chip! Congrats!"

Ryan gestured to the bench "Yeah. Thanks"

Summer glared "Ah suck it up, Chino. What's the worse that could happen?"

"Detention"

"Suspension"

"Expulsion"

"Getting sent to another school"

"An all Water Polo playing school"

Summer shook her head and leaned on the wall between the two boys

"That stuff could never really happen, right?"

Seth shrugged "I don't know, Summer. But you know what might make me feel better?" Seth poked his lips out

"A good-bye kiss."

"EW. No. Gross"

The office door swung open again. The bear layed her evil little eyes on Summer. "Mrs. Roberts unless you want to join these boys, I suggest you find your assigned classroom and fast."

"Um… Sure thing Mrs. Bear- I mean, 'B'".

Summer hurried away and the secretary addressed the two miscreants sitting outside her office.

"The Dean will see you both now"

Ryan sent Seth a worried look and Seth returned with a reassuring smile

Taking one last glance around the abandoned hallway, the blond boy steeled his expression and walked into the room.

Seth trailed behind him and wished fleetingly for a pair of sneakers that didn't squish when he walked.

The door shut behind them with a devastating click.

* * *

Seth hummed and his foot tapped in beat with his favorite death dab song, while Ryan glared at his current adversary. Dean Kim.

"So you have nothing so say?"

Ryan crossed his arms "I refuse to speak without my lawyer present"

Seth stopped his humming for a moment "Ditto"

Dr. Kim sighed "Fine. You leave me no choice but to-"

There was a loud knock at the door before a blond woman with a dead serious expression poked her head in

"Mrs. Cohen, excellent timing"

"Dr. Kim. How are you?"

The women shook hands breifly before Kirsten sat down besides Ryan, who visibly squirmed at the look on his foster mother's face. Seth stopped humming.

Dr. Kim glanced disapprovingly at the two students and then their mother "We'll I'm sure you can guess why we're here"

"Did the boys explain their actions? Because they are really doing very well in school and are rarely in any type of trouble-"

"They refuse to speak without their lawyer present"

Kirsten glared at the two boys who quickly averted their eyes. When Ryan finally got up enough courage to look up, he thought he saw hint of amusement in Kirsten's eyes. But then again, it was a very small hint.

"Boys. Start talking. Now"

"Sorry I'm late. Good afternoon, Dr. Kim. Kirsten. Seth, Ryan."

Sandy was trying to keep his 'hard ass' face on, but even the boys could see the corners of his mouth twitching

"Mr. Cohen" at the sound of the Dean's voices all traces of amusement left his features and the senior Cohen settled himself on Seth's right side, sandwiching both boys in between their parents

"You came just in time. Seth and Ryan were just about to tell us what happened this afternoon"

"I thought you already knew"

"Seth" both parents scolded

Dr. Kim leaned forward on her desk "We want you version of the story as well, Seth. Unless you want me to go by Mr. Saunders' description of the events"

Silence followed as both boys silently willed the other to start

"Ryan"

"We were in the line for lunch. And Chip and some of his cro- friends were behind us."

"Right" Seth jumped in "But I took the last special, you see? It was one of those turkey dinners. With the gravy and mashed potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce and those tiny-"

"-Ok. I think they get the picture, Seth" Ryan murmured

"-Anyway, Chip starts hassling me cause he wanted the last turkey dinner. Blah Blah, I'm weird, Blah Blah, I'm Gay, Blah Blah"

"- So I told him to erm… knock it off" Ryan added. His ears turned red and he slumped further into his seat

"- And then Chip started saying some things…"

"What kind of things Seth?" Dr. Kim inquired

"Some kind of um… things… about Casino Night… and Ryan's mom… other mom… that I don't really feel like, um… repeating"

By this time Ryan's face was bright red and was slumped into his seat to the point of falling off. All the adults in the room silently agreed that it was best to move on from that part of the story.

Kirsten reached over and squeezed Ryan's arm, feeling some of the tension leave his body at her touch. She rubbed his shoulder reassuringly before asking

"Then what happened, Seth?"

"Then I might have thrown my iced coffee in his face?"

Ryan smirked but continued to stay slumped in his seat, still picking at the large, red spot on his jeans

"-And then Chip grabbed Seth by the shirt and was gonna punch his face in. -No offence Seth"

"-None taken. So then Ryan sorta pushed Chip and he might have tripped and done this spectacular dive right into my turkey dinner"

Seth flicked a small lump of mashed potatoes off of his shoulder

"-And it might have started a food fight"

"A sorta, kind of, but not very huge food fight"

Ryan scratched his head, attempting to rid himself of some of the BBQ sauce that was currently irritating his scalp

"And that's all we had to do with it"

Dr. Kim's eyes narrowed and her voice turned hard as she addressed the two trouble makers

"Although I understand your motives, Seth, you were still the one to take the first act of violence. And the two of you started a food fight in the school cafeteria. This type of behavior is not tolerated at Harbor School. I'm afraid I'm going to have to suspend the two of you for the next two weeks and if the school board-"

"We didn't start it on purpose! And what? Chip gets off scott free?!"

Sandy glanced at his son "Seth, calm down. Dr. Kim, don't you think that's a little harsh? Isn't there a way we can work this- "

"I'm sorry Mr. Cohen, but I can't let this slide by. Think of the example that our school would be setting for the other children. This isn't the first time I've had to drag one of your sons in here"

Ryan ducked his head in shame, but Kirsten tilted hers as she leaned coyly against the back of her seat, her face the picture of anger and determination even as her voice feigned curiosity "What exactly are you referring to Dr. Kim?"

"Mr. Atwood's actions towards Oliver Trask-"

"What does Oliver Trask have to do with the boys starting a food fight in the cafeteria ?"

"We didn't start it" Seth mumbled but Sandy quieted him with a look

"Well-"

Kirsten eyes narrowed, giving the dean the look she normally reserved for her toughest, most obnoxious clients

"As I recall the board exonerated Ryan and that situation was removed from his school file. As far as the school is concerned, that topic is no longer up for discussion. I don't think I need to go over your school's policy on confidentiality and procedure with your superiors, do I Dr. Kim?"

Ryan sat up in his chair, trying very hard to cover his smile with his hand. Seth, on the other hand, wasn't hiding it at all.

Sandy took his cue to step in before his wife decided to actually kill the Harbor School Dean

"Dr. Kim. I understand the position you're in. Believe me, I do. You have to enforce the rules. Like the schools zero tolerance policy on bullying. I'm sure you guys enforce that. In fact, I'm positive that if there ever were time in which a student was being bullied, like I don't know, getting shoved in his locker, having his shoes urinated in, being called derogatory names or being teased because of where he was born, or how much money he had, that those bullying him would be punished to the fullest extent. There really is no reason for kids to take matters into their own hands here; the school system takes care of it for them, right? I'm sure if there ever was a problem with bullying among students, and the school board was to hear about it, they'd be very concerned with the quality of their staff. More importantly, the head of their staff. _Very concerned._

Seth and Ryan had never seen the Dean look so flustered

"I see. Well seeing as this is a first time offence and I doubt there will be a repeat performance-"

Both boys nodded their acquiesce

"I think 2 weeks detention working in the cafeteria and a suspension for the rest of the afternoon is a suitable punishment. For both parties involved" She added.

Kirsten stood up "Thank you for your time, Dr. Kim. We will make sure Seth and Ryan are here tomorrow on time for detention."

Without another word, the Kirsten walked out the office leaving Seth, Ryan and Sandy trailing behind her.

"Wow. Mom, Dad that was so awesome-" Seth's ramble came to an abrupt stop at the glare Kirsten sent his way

"Not out of the woods yet, son"

Sandy ruffled his son's hair playfully and laughed when a French fry fell out

Kirsten rapped one arm around Ryan and pulled him closer. Ryan tensed momentarily before leaning into her side as they walked

Out side there were a few cheers and scatters of applause from their fellow students. Seth waved and blew fake kisses to the giggling girls while Ryan ducked his head and followed his parents to the Rover as quickly as possible.

Kirsten tossed the keys to her blonde son

"Take the Rover straight home. I want the two of you to shower and have your butts planted on those kitchen stools when we get home"

"Where are you guys going?"

Sandy got into the front seat of the BMW

"We are going to drive around a little. Get the stench of your little escapade out of our noses. Discuss your punishment"

Seth fell dramatically into the side of the car "Come on. You guys aren't really thinking about punishing us are you? You heard us in there. We were totally innocent"

"Don't push it, Seth"

Seth and Ryan both climbed into the Rover trying to ignore the insufferable stench of 6 different kinds of school lunch. Seth started the engine.

"Wow. The whole school _is_ talking about it"

Ryan scratched his head again "The whole school is wearing it"

"Well you know what they say"

"Seth, if you say 'you are what you eat' I'm going to throw _hot_ coffee in your face"

"Ouch. Let's go home. I feel like a buffet"

"You don't think we're really in trouble, do you?"

"Naw. They like it when we stick up for each other. Brother stuff"

Ryan nodded

"So, how long have you wanted to throw coffee in a water polo player's face?"

"Oh, _so _long. It's on my list of things to do before I die. Goes right before 'get the applesauce out of my shoes"

Ryan laughed. He had pudding in his.

The End

Like I said, it is long. But I hope you liked it.

Don't fight that feeling. Read. Review.


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